Why?
Why?
Why did these grandparents have to tell a shell shocked waiting room the two words no one ever wants to have to say, "He's gone"?
Why did two of my dearest friends have to say goodbye to their eighteen year old son?
Why did two of the most amazing kids have to have their big brother taken away from them so soon?
Why?
"I am an exile - a sojourner; a citizen of some other place
All I've seen is just a glimmer in a shadowy mirror,
But I know one day I'll see face to face."
Why him and not me?
Why a goofy, stubborn, talented kid who loved Christ with his entire being?
Why someone who had still so much to offer the world?
Why did three boys have to do something no one should have to do so young, and hug their best friend for the last time?
Why was God's answer to our prayers this?
Why?
"I am a nomad - a wanderer; I have nowhere to lay my head down.
There's no point in putting roots to deep when I'm moving on.
I'm not settling for this unsettling town."
Why when we prayed so hard for God to heal him was he then snatched away from us?
Why did a soccer team lose their beloved captain?
Why did he have to get cancer in the first place?
Why was a young man robbed of the chance to be a husband and father?
Why does every word of comfort seem so trite and hollow?
Why are we all left with a gaping hole in our hearts, and the feeling that we'll never be able catch our breath again?
Why?
"I am a pilgrim - voyager; I won't rest until my lips touch the shore
Of the land that I've been longing for as long as I've lived,
Where there'll be no pain or tears anymore."
Why?
As I watched my sweet bestie stroke her baby's hair one last time, and her husband hold his son's hand a final time, one question kept screaming in my heart, "Why did have to happen this way, God? Why?"
It's been five days, and I still don't know.
I still don't know. I may never know.
I know these two things though:
1. We should all strive to live life like Paxton, fearlessly and so full of Christ's love that it spills out onto others.
2. Paxton is free.
Free from pain.
Free from suffering.
Free from sickness.
Free from death.
He's more free than you and I still stuck here on earth will ever be.
Paxton is home, and in exile no more.
"My heart is filled with songs of forever
Of a city that endure, where all is made new.
I know I don't belong here; I'll never
Call this place my home, I'm just passing through."
