Snarky, and Not Thankful At All Thursday 06/06/2013

There's an old saying (I don't know who said it first) about writing that goes "A good writer writes what they know." Today I'm re-writing that to say "Write what you feel.", and I, my Bots, am feeling rather snark-tastic. Why? Not really sure. It's been a rather strange week at work because of some...interesting... people walking through the doors. Maybe that's what's setting me off. Any who here's a list of some snarky observations. Sorry in advance for any offense I may cause...

1. One of my little guilty pleasures is looking at wedding blogs, and I've been noticing a certain trend where the bride and groom have GINORMOUS wedding parties. Why do you need 6, 8, 10, sometimes 12 bridesmaids/groomsmen on EACH side? Why? Are we so afraid of maybe, possibly offending a friend that you had in college that you haven't seen in ten years, really haven't talked to them since college, but oh man, we're friends on Facebook, and they commented on my relationship status update from "in a relationship" to "engaged". I know I really don't know anything about them anymore, but we did have some good times back in our old college days, and I don't want to hurt their feelings so I better ask them to be a bridesmaid/groomsman. What, the what?? Heck, I don't think I would even invite them to the wedding much less ask them to be in my bridal party. Plus, having that many people hovering around me on a day where I would be an emotional, nervous wreck stresses me out just thinking about it. Trying to wrangle everybody, and making sure they're all where they're supposed be gives me the phantom shivers. Personally, I think 3-4 people tops on each side is about right. You could go even less, and be even more stress free. My folks had two attendants total. One maid of honor, and one best man. That's it. Honestly, that sounds even better.

2. Tweens/teens that cannot or will not talk to adults. I deal with this fairly frequently in my workplace. A teenager walks into the office, and as they're waiting to see the doctor, I try to make them feel welcome and more comfortable by chatting with them about school, their activities, or hobbies. (I figure this is better then sitting in silence, correct me if I'm wrong.) All too often, the responses I get are one syllable, one word answers. Really? Listen up, Hoss, I'm not asking you to engage in a philosophical discussion here, but it would be greeeaatt if you could answer me with a full sentence. Thanks. Of course, all the while, the teen has their eyes surgically glued to their smart phone texting away to 50 of their friends. Eye contact during a conversation...weird. (I imagine they're texting their friends "O.M.G. the chubby, old lady at my doctor's office keeps trying to talk to me. Like I would even want to talk to an adult. She's totes annoying. When can I get out of here?! Shoot me now.") Seriously, it makes me want snatch their phones out of their hot little paws, flick them on their nose, and shout "Eyes up here, buckeroo!" Grrrr. Parents, please teach your children to be able to carry on a decent conversation with an adult. I don't think it's too crazy to expect by the age of 12 ** that a kid should be able to do this. Kids, it's really okay to talk to an adult. Just try it. You might find out that we can actually be kinda fun.

**I do realize that children with certain disabilities may not be able to do this. That being said, I've had better, funnier, more heart warming chats with kids that have severe physical/mental disabilities then I've had with some so called "functioning" teenagers.

3. Precious couples on social media. Look, I get it. You're in love. (Or if you're 15 years old what you think is love, but in all reality you're just in "like". You don't know what love is yet. Trust me. I thought I was in love at 15. Yeah, no. I really wasn't.) Your special someone gives you the butterflies, they make you feel wonderful, and you WANT TO SHOUT YOUR LOVE FROM THE HIGHEST MOUNTAIN. Good for you, but please refrain from posting every cutesy love quote, or love song lyric ("This is just so us, baby! It's like they know us!"...gross.) you find on your Facebook wall. Honestly, I don't mind a little lovey dovey-ness. It can be cute, but remember, everything in moderation. How about you try telling your special someone all this in person not via the inter-webs? Huh? What a thought?! This way you'll keep snarky, bitter old maids from going postal about you on their blog. It's a win-win for everyone.

Phew. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest, Bots. Next week I'll try to get us back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Manda