Single thoughts...Part One

I'm going to get a little...real here, folks. Please be patient and gentle with me. I'll try not to get too angsty/emo on you. Also this is going to be at least a two part post...maybe more...(Yay! My first multi-part blog entry!)

Thoughts on singleness have been on my mind lately. Well, not so lately, I'm always aware of my single-ness, but recently, it's been weighing a little bit more heavily then normal. For my not so near and dear readers, I'm going to let you in on something that's hard to admit. I have been eternally single my whole life. Yes, that means exactly what you think that means. You may be saying to yourself, "What?! In this day and age? Really?!" Yes, really. In my teens years, I had one potential relationship that I really, really wanted to happen. It probably could have happened, but through my own teenage stupidity, immaturity, and cowardliness it never did. It's still one of my biggest regrets to this day, but I won't be going into the details of this here. It's something that I've only shared with a select few, and I want it to stay that way. In my adult life, I've had a few possible encounters of the dating kind, but they've been mostly of "no way on this green Earth" or "heck-to-the-no" varieties. Here's a few examples:

1. "You should meet/date my nephew! He just got divorced, has four kids under the age of six, and he just super lonely! He's so sweet! You would love him!!" Uh. No. Red flags all over this one. He's recently divorced? He doesn't need to date any one. He needs counseling. He has four little kids? He's not looking for girlfriend. He's looking for a babysitter. Dude needs to learn how to be a single dad. He's lonely? Uuummm, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that he's not looking to be in a relationship. He just wants some female companionship of the consenting persuasion. Nope, not gonna happen with this girl.

2. "Soooo, my male relative really likes you, but he's too shy to ask you out. You should ask him out. Then you two could get married, and then we would be related! I would love that!!" Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow your roll, dear. Slow. Your. Roll. He's too shy? Look, I get that. I've struggled with shyness my whole life, but I'm a rather old fashioned girl. I want the guy to ask me out. Not the other way around. Also marriage? Where did that come from? Calm yourself down, right now. I'm sorry to break it to you, but this male relative of yours...I'm not attracted to him at all. He's job-less, and has been job-less for a loooong time. He still lives at home, and has never not lived at home. Also, and I hate to say this, but he kinda weirds me out...

3. "Hey, you're kinda cute. You should call me sometime, and we can hang out." Reaaaally, that's it?! That's all you have for me? Really? Okaaaay...Yeah sorry, that's not going to entice me to take you up on your offer at all. (This truly was the extent of this guy's whole attempt to ask me out, and the only previous interaction we had was a purely professional one...I had ordered some glasses for him...I guess I should contain my feminine wiles when ordering spectacles.)

See what I mean? I suppose some people would say "Maybe, you're being unrealistic, and your standards are too high." Maybe, but I don't think so. Just what are my standards? What is this Wallflower looking for in a man? Well, you'll just have to wait until the next post...Oh, the suspense!