Alone

Music: Swept Away by The Avett Brothers
            Moonshiner by Red Bird
            You Really Got A Hold On Me by She & Him

Alone.

Not lonely, but alone.

Some would say "Lonely? Alone? They're the same thing."

I would argue "No. They're completely different."

To me feeling loneliness is the lack of contact with other when you're longing for it.

Alone is the act of being solitary.

I love being alone.

Of course not all the time, but for me and my fellow introverts, the amount of time we spend interacting socially must be equal to or less than the time we spend alone.

I draw strength from "alone time". 

The feeling of always being "on" in the workplace and in public can be draining, and by the end of the day, I'm ready to decompress.

People who tell me "I hate being alone." make me sad and a little confused.

I don't understand it. Even as young thing with an enormous imagination, I loved playing and being by myself.

Four year old Amanda making up adventures for Rainbow Brite and her daring steed, Starlite.

Seven year old Amanda pretending that her mother's flower garden was a fairy realm and her favorite Barbie was a elfin princess who drank droplets of water out of a bluebell goblet and made her bed under a spray of Lilies of the Valley.

Ten year old Amanda curled up in the hollow stump in the middle of the little field next to the pig shed, devouring book after book.

Thirteen year old Amanda holed up in her room mooning over teenager...stuff.

Sixteen year old Amanda racing through her school work just to dive into a secreted away romance novel.

And now, thirty three year old Amanda reveling in quiet evenings where the most pressing thing on her calendar is a long walk by herself.

Are people who hate being alone afraid of their thoughts? Of facing who they truly are away from their friends?

I understand the people who have had a horrific trauma in their life that makes being by themselves not a healthy option.

I understand family dynamics make it tough to have alone time.

I get that, and respect that.

But those of you who just simply can't stand quiet, you baffle me. I love you, but you're strange in my opinion.

How can you think with all that noise?

How do you not have a constant headache from always being on?

I'm know, I know. I baffle you too.

When I tell you "Alone time is amazing!", you look at me like I'm a refugee from Mars.

"Aren't you scared to be alone?"

"Isn't it boring?"

"Really?!"

"Why?"

Why? Because to me it's as essential as oxygen.