Things I Just Don't Understand Part 2

Music: Mercy by Muse
            Peer Gynt Suite by Edvard Grieg
            Tompkin's Square Park by Mumford & Sons




1. Baby Shower Games

I just don't get them. (Hey, I know for a fact that I'm not the only one who doesn't like them. I'm just writing what all y'all are thinking.)

For example, why does trying to guess the size of the expectant mothers belly sound like fun?

 The poor woman is probably already feeling bloated, swollen and roughly the size of a small English cottage. Why, oh why, would we want to make her feel even more self conscience by trying to guess the width of her belly?

See also: Guess The Type of Candy Melted In Diaper, Pinch The Penny Between The Knees And Pee It Into A Jar, Don't Say Baby, etc...

2. Uggs

They're ugg-ly (hah! puns ahoy!), should never be paired with a mini skirt, and also reportedly horrible for your feet.

Pretty sure dwarven boots would be a better fashion choice.

See also: Crocs

3. Drama on any reality show that's centered around a "real life" profession

Look, we all have "stuff" that happens at work. It's part of working with other human beings. I'm not perfect. You're not perfect. We're bound to annoy each other.

But there is no way on earth that you can convince me that 99.9% of the drama that happens on these shows is not scripted. If even a tenth of that stuff happened at a legit workplace, people would be getting fired er'ywhere!

Yet, people eat it up! They pay to watch it! For some reason watching a grown adult act like a 2 year old throwing a temper tantrum because Mommy won't let them have a cookie for breakfast is absolutely fascinating!

Really?!

I personally know at least 10 parents who would let you babysit their toddler and witness just as riveting drama played out in real life. And it would be free.

"Next time on Dry-cleaners of Sioux Falls, will Alva and Velma come to blows over who forgot to clean the spot on the mayor's cumberbund? Tune in next week to see all the drama!"

See also: Do we really need another show about a gunshop, pawnshop, minnow fishing boat, logging company, gold panning operation, bunch of mountain hermits, or high end cupcakery?

4. Dogs in strollers

No.

5. People Who Think Classical Music Is Boring

Whaaaaaa??!! No seriously, how can you even think that?! How???!!! What the what?! 

How can you listen to Vivaldi's Autumn, and not hear leaves rustling across a grassy lane?

How can you listen to the Waltz of the Snowflakes by Tchaikovsky and not see snowflakes dancing across a street?

How can you listen to Handel's Messiah and not be moved to tears?

How can you listen to Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata and not have your heart ache just a little?

How can you listen to Carl Orff's O Fortuna and not by ready to take on a zombie horde?

Also, have you seen Apocalypse Now, V for Vendetta, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, Moulin Rouge, Pirates of the Caribbean, Mission Impossible, Twilight, Fantasia, Toy Story 2, The King's Speech, The Fifth Element, multiple episodes of The Looney Tunes, or heck even the trailer for Mad Max Fury Road?

Yes? 

Well then, partner, you've listened to and probably even enjoyed classical music.

So, yeah, there. You actually DO like classical music.



So there you go just a few more things I don't get...

And always a big thank you to everyone who takes time out of their busy schedules to read this snarky little blog.

P.S. Oh, you don't know O Fortuna?? Here, let me help you with that. It's absolutely amazing!! (And after you listen to five seconds of it, I bet you do recognize it.)