Pursuing passion...

Passion. Not the kind found in bodice popping or tightly laced breeches. Nor in dog-eared romance novels secreted away during teenage years.

Passion. Not loud or vocal. Not evidenced by heated conversations or angry outbursts

Passion. Passion of a different sort. Not physical, but intangible. Excitement for the future. Fear for the future. Worry about the future. Dreams about the future.

Passion. Passion where the only ones who can truly understand are yourself and the Lord.

Passion. Passion where one moment you have giddy thoughts and a stomach housing a whole dorm of excited, girly butterflies. The next your sensible, rational brain is screaming "How in the world do you even think this can happen?! You have no experience in business! You didn't even finish college!"

Passion. Passion in the knowing that things can't and must not stay the same.

Passion full of loud thoughts and quiet dream sessions with close friends and family.

Passion for the future delights of brightening a bad day with a warm chocolate chip cookie. Lighting a grin with a gooey, fudgy brownie. Filling a hungry belly with a raspberry streusel muffin. A sigh of satisfaction at the first foamy sip of a latte. Warming cold, work roughened hands with a mug of Italian roast. Inhaling the scent of cardamom and cinnamon wafting from a cup of chai.

Passion for giving amateur artists the chance for eyes other than their own to see their heart. Listening to the brush of fingers against guitar strings. Over hearing deep conversations. Bursts of laughter from teenage girls having their first of many future coffee klatschs.

Passion for giving people a refuge from a harsh, demanding world for a brief spell.

Passion for a community made up of people from all walks of life and backgrounds.

Passion for waiting however long it takes for a long held vision to become reality.

It's Sassy's One Year Blog-iversary!

Blog-iversary? Blog-day? I don't know. Any who, it's been one year since I started this blog. One year of writing my rambling thoughts, sappy thank you's, pitching and complaining about singleness, and snarkiness in spades. A few people have actually taken the time to read my little blog which blows me away, but also makes me question their sanity... (you guys must be gluttons for punishment.).

In honor of this occasion, I'm going to do a little year in review with pictures. When you're in the middle of a year, it's hard to see all the things that have happened. When that year is over, and you step back and really look at what all happened, it can blow you away. 2013 was a year like I've never experienced. It was a year of tremendous change and growth for me. It was filled with sweet and heartbreaking moments. It was a year of new experiences and breaking shells I had built around myself. It was a year that 5 years down the road, I'll look back, and say "That's when it all changed."

January

My blog baby is born after obsessively reading lots of other blogs and thinking to myself "I wanna try blogging! I think I could that!"

February

My first and only recipe post to date...sorry, about that, guys...

Edamame and friends ;)

March

After telling her I wanted to walk a 5k, my friend Chelsey challenged me to The Coffee Bean Challenge to help me prepare for one in June. This little challenge ignited a fire in me to start getting healthier.

April

Ladies retreat!

Missoula weekend with Winnie, Nikki, and Amber (who played photographer for this pic). Squatchin'!

May

Taking in one of my favorite views at Lake MacDonald.

June

Winnie and I getting ready for our first 5k!

Completion! I owe it all Chelsey, her challenge, and the rest of my loved ones cheering me on.

July

Family vacay to Oregon!

August

Learning how to can from my Mom.

September

Going on my first real hike! Avalanche Lake, I will be back.

My nerdy little reward to myself for meeting my 20lb weight loss goal!

October

Color Me Pink 5k with some of my favorite ladies!

November

Teaching some lovely young ladies the art of baking...

And delivering some of our yummy baked goods to our neighbors...

December

Christmas Tree hunting with my fam. One of my favorite traditions!

It was an amazing, blessed year. I can't wait to see what this one holds. Thanks again for reading. You guys are the best! 

Manda

Blog birthday? Anni-blog-ary? Blog-ary Day........

The Perfect Gift

That first Christmas wasn't a festive, Christmas card perfect, Precious Moments time. A teenage girl gave birth to her first Child in a cave, not safe at home. It stunk. It was damp. There were farm animals wandering around. I'm sure Joseph had a elbow aside a sheep from it's feeding trough just so Mary could lay down her newborn.

 Mary wasn't dressed in a lovely pastel blue robe. She wore a stained tunic. Her hair wasn't perfectly combed. It was matted and sweaty. Not a single golden halo could be found. Her mother wasn't there to hold her hand, lay cool clothes on her forehead, and clean up the Baby afterward. Her mother probably wasn't even speaking to her. Her father wasn't there to tell her "You did good, sweetheart." Her father was probably ashamed of her.

Joseph wasn't standing off to the side, serenely looking on at the Baby, and leaning on his staff. He was probably shooing off chickens trying to roost on the trough and pushing cows away from his wife. All the while worry and questions spinning in his head. How would he keep them safe? Could they even return home? What if something happened to Mary or the Baby? Could he be a good father to this Heavenly Child?

The Baby wasn't wrapped in downy, white blankets. He was probably swaddled in some spare old rags that Joseph was able to beg from the Innkeeper. He was probably cold. Did He know even in that newborn state what awaited him? The lower class childhood? The burden of helping his earthly parents make ends meet? The ridicule and scorn that followed him during his ministry years? The awful death that only hardened criminals were sentenced to?

Not exactly the picture we're used to seeing every year. No gold foil edging or velvet details. But for all the ugliness, dirtiness, pain, confusion, and hurt, this is the picture that I want to see. Because that's real life. Life is not pretty. Life is not greeting card perfect. Life can be ugly. My life can be ugly. My heart is far from perfect.

Into all this nastiness, Christ came down, and became a fragile baby. From glory, He became a man. He did this for me, for you, for that annoying neighbor, for that criminal, for that politician, for the world. He became flesh so He could die for us, take our disgusting sin upon Himself, then conquer death by coming back to life all because He couldn't stand the thought of us not being with Him in Eternity.

This was Christ's gift to us. The gift of Life.

"Further up and further in..."

I'll be honest, guys. It's been a rough week.

I had a dear family friend who passed away unexpectedly Saturday morning. He left behind a beautiful wife and three awesome kids.

I have family members that have lost loved ones this week.

I have dear friends going through emotional upheaval.

My workplace was broken into Monday night.

The holiday season is supposed to be a festive, happy time, but it seems like for many this year it's going to be a season of pain and grief. Instead of celebrating, there will be mourning. Instead laughter, there will be tears. Instead of joy, there will be hurt. Instead of feeling safe at work, there's unease and tension.

It's hard to understand why these things happen. Why? Why was a husband and father taken away from his family so early? Why do we hurt each other? Why would someone steal from one of the most generous men in town?

I don't know.

I don't know.

The only solace I have is that I know the One who does know. That's the only hope I have and the only hope I cling to. The only Hope that I need.

I may never know this side of heaven, and if I never know until I reach my real Home, that's enough. I know that when I reach there all answers will be known, and we will be astounded by our Lord's glorious plan. We'll know without a shadow of a doubt that His hand was in it all.

"I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now...Come further up, come further in!" -C.S. Lewis

Thankful Thursdays 11/28/2013 Thanksgiving Edition

In honor of the holiday, I've decided to compile a list of 28 things that I'm thankful (get it because today's the 28th? Cheesy? Yes. Will it stop me? No.). Here we go!

1. My Merciful Heavenly Father

2. A family that makes me laugh.

3. A sense of humor that allows me to laugh at myself.

4. Dear friends that put up with my girly woes.

5. Reconnecting with old friends

6. Getting better acquainted with a sweet group of youth group girls.

7. My bestie. I talk a lot about this girl, but I'm just so blessed to call her my best friend.

8. Parents that never stop worrying about me even though I'm an adult (on the outside only, inside I'm still 12.)

9. Brothers that I count as two of my dearest friends.

10. White chocolate lattes (it's my drink of choice, just in case anyone ever wants to bring me one...)

11. Watching the Macy's Thanksgiving parade every year with my Mama.

12. My salvation

13. Godly 2nd parents (Merla and Steve, I'm looking at you!)

14. Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate

15. Papa's Barbecued turkey. Seriously, if you've never tried this, you must!

16. Foggy mornings, especially when you don't have to go anywhere, and can stay curled up on your couch with a mug of coffee.

17. My pastor and his lovely wife

18. Doctor Who/Firefly/Buffy/Once/Sherlock marathons

19. Finally being grown up enough not to care about letting my nerd flag fly.

20. Growing closer with extended family members because of the interwebs. I don't care what you say, sometimes the internet is a good thing especially when you live so far apart.

21. Coffee, in general...

22. Corny Christmas movies. I'm a complete sucker for them. Don't judge.

23. My baby brother coming home for Christmas break.

24. My infuriating, irritating, amusing, dopey cat, Malcolm.

25. My church family

26. Fangirling on Tumblr with virtual strangers. I know it sounds weird, but I don't have that many people in real life besides my bestie and brothers to talk about this stuff with, and then I'm sure they get tired of hearing about it all the time. So to spare my real life peeps some of the agony, I have my fellow Tumblr-ites.

27. The Lord giving me the strength to get a bit healthier. I could not do it on my own.

28. My readers. It shocks and blesses my socks off that anyone would want to read my ramblings.

Happy Thanksgiving,
Manda

Thankful Thursdays 11/07/2013

Music: (Trying my darndest to suppress the urge 
           to listen to Christmas music.)



Happy November, all! 'Tis the season for planning turkey dinners, trying to avoid looking at Christmas-y merchandise until after Thanksgiving (and usually failing spectacularly), finishing off leftover Halloween candy, and trying (and also failing spectacularly) to get some early Christmas shopping done...

1. An amazing answer to an unspoken prayer.

2. Two splendid hours spent with 8 of the sweetest, sassiest, funniest young ladies making chocolate chip cookies and laughing our heads off. I was completely blessed that these girls would want to spend their Saturday morning with me. Hopefully, I was able to bless them a bit too. "I'm Johnny Appleseed!"

3. My bestie Amber, who always listens to me when I'm verbalizing my over-thinking...which happens a lot.

4. A coffee date with a friend and drooling over her honeymoon tales. (She went to Ireland, Wales, and England, guys. Seriously, that is my DREAM trip.)

5. Snow. Yes, I know "insert eye roll here". No, I don't like driving on slick, slushy roads, but it does make the great outdoors look so pretty.

6. Going a bit bonkers downloading new music from Noisetrade.

7. Meeting another fitness goal (down 30 pounds, yay!!)

8. Peppermint white mocha's back at my favorite coffee shop! I drank two last weekend (no judging). Hurrah, for holiday beverages!

9. My dear friend, Nikki, who supported me the whole way when I told her that I wanted to make myself up as coffee themed superhero for my announcement about our ladies retreat in front of the entire church. Girl didn't even bat an eye. Just said "That's awesome! What can I do to help." For that, I made her my sidekick.

10. Speaking of new music, I'm currently in love with the hip hop group Beautiful Eulogy. I'll leave you today with the remix they did with Josh Garrels on his song "Anchor". Soooo good!

Thankful Thursdays 10/31/2013

Artie Shaw - Nightmare
Nina Simone - I Put A Spell On You
Frank Sinatra - Witchcraft
Michael Jackson - Thriller

Well lovelies, it's Halloween, tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and next week is Christmas. I kid, but not really. Seriously, once we hit Halloween, it's all down hill from here. Boom. The HOLIDAYS are upon us. Any who so Halloween...my crazy plans are to meet up with Linus and see if the Great Pumpkin shows up this year. I'll be following that wild ride with a possible trip to Halloweentown, or maybe a hot date with Sir Netflix. Guuurrlll, this party NEVAH stops!! Now for thankful time.

1. Starting a new workout challenge that my friend Chelsey made for me!! She designed this one to fit in with my love of baking. I'm excited, though the cookie cutters (squat type exercise) may kill me...

2. A new Five Iron Frenzy album comes out next month! Squeeeeeee!!! It's been 10 YEARS since their last one, and I'm dying to listen to the new one...if only I didn't have to wait until Nov. 26... it will be worth it, though.

3. The book of Proverbs. Just started re-reading this Book, and wowza, is it applicable to what is happening in our world today.

4. Planning for a ladies retreat.

5. A bit of karaoke and dancing in Shopko with two of my dearest friends.

6. Movie nights with my bestie and her family.

7. Allowing myself to eat a s'more... or two.

8. Lunch with my Grandma.

9. New cousins. Hi, Kyle and Makenzy!

10. Shuffling and crunching through a pile of leaves. Nothing will bring you back to being a kid faster than that.

For a special treat (Get it? Cuz it's Halloween? Trick or Treat? Pssshhttt, never mind.) I'll leave you with this pic of the Middle Brother and I back in our Candy Getting days.