Losing Weight is Weird... Part 2

As I said repeatedly in my last post, losing weight is a strange thing that I wasn't really prepared to deal with emotionally. Please, know that I'm not in mental anguish or I'm ready to throw in the towel. No ma'am/sir! I'm now officially over halfway done with my goal to lose 100 pounds. It may take the rest of this year and part of next, but I'm pushing forward!

It's just that turning around my eating and physical activity habits is a huge life event. It's like any major life event like college, starting a new relationship, marriage, having a child, or moving out of state. You can do all the mental preparation, read all the latest articles, and have all the peer advice jam sessions you want, but until that event actually happens, you have no idea what it's really like.

Another strange thing, but a very good strange (well, for the most part) is the sheer number of people I've had cheering me on. My nearest and dearest have been there for me every step of the way (sometimes literally). They're my very own cheer squad. I love these crazies.

Even curiouser is people I know, but don't interact with much, or the people I only see on a professional basis coming up to me saying "You look great!" "I saw you out walking on the bike path! Good for you!"

It's crazy! I had somebody tell me the other day that I've inspired them...

Me?! Inspiring?! Really? I don't think so...

Sometimes...okay a lot of the time I struggle with what to say in response because it takes me by surprise. I don't want to seem full of myself (Yeaaaaahhh, I am pretty great. No big deal. *Wink, wink, finger guns* Go me! Wanna join Team Manda? We're on the path to amazingness!)

So my response is typically sheepish laughter followed a lame "Oh...thanks! Uuumm, yep, I'm working on it..."

The only not so positive, but not necessarily bad reaction is from what I like to call the "non-believers". Here's a typical conversation with a "non-believer" (NB)

NB: "Hey! Look at you! You look great. You've lost some weight... a lot of weight!"

Me: *cue nervous laughter* "Hahahahaha...uuumm, yeah."

NB: "Well, what's your secret? What are you doing? Are you on a diet plan? Taking any supplements?"

Me: "Nope, just eating less/better and moving more." *sheepish grin*

NB:  *crickets*

Me: *more sheepish grins*

NB: *blank stare* "Really?"

Me: "Yep!"

NB: "Really?"

Me: "Yeah!"

NB: *confusion/skepticism creeping across face* "That's it?"

Me: "Yep. I'm taking it slow and steady, but it's working for me."

NB: "Huh."

Me: (needing to wrap this convo up cuz we've officially entered Awkward Town) "Okay, well good seeing you! Take luck! Bu-bye!" (high tales it out of there.)

(Oh haaaiii, Tom!)

NB: *still standing there* "Huh."

I think the NB is so confused because as a society we're always looking for the new, the interesting, the exotic, the edgy, or the instant. We love things that promise us "Lose 5 inches and 5 pounds in 5 days. Just samba the pounds away with our dance videos and take these cucumboji berry leaf tincture supplements." or "GET RIPPED IN 90 DAYS WITH THIS NEW 'CRAY CRAY TOWN MAKE YOU REGRET THAT CALZONE YOU HAD FOR LUNCH BECAUSE IT'S ABOUT TO COME BACK UP' WORKOUT REGIME!!!! YEAH!!!" *cue guitar shredding, orange, greasy abs, and pyrotechnics*

I get it. It's exciting. We like trying new things, but when it comes to sustaining that latest workout craze, it gets "real hard, real fast". So we find the next new fad, the next weight loss tea, the next ex-Marine drill sergeant turned fitness guru to scream at us, and on and on it goes.

I think that's why when you tell someone, "Yes, I'm taking it slow. Yes, I'm steadily building up my tolerance. Yes, it's taken me a year to get to this point, but it's working." it kinda baffles the heck out of them.

Now, I'll stop for here for a quick sec. I know everyone is different, and if you've found something that works for you, something that gets you excited for healthy living, as long as it's it truly safe (no living on 500 calories a day, please. That is not safe.), and is good for your body, you do you. If you love to dance when working out, you embrace that little inner salsa queen and samba your heart out (yes, I get those are two different dances. Just roll with me.). I have friends that thrive on fitness boot camps. Those intense workouts work for them. They're rock stars in my book. If juicing or herbal supplements are your thing, get it, guuuurrlll/boooooyyy. Again, as long as it's safe. Please check with your doctor/healthcare professional.

So gain, for me, "everything in moderation" is what's working. Slow and steady is what's winning my fitness race. As most of you know, I started out with very short distances (less than half a mile), and have worked up to being able to walk 3 miles 4-5 times a week. Two years ago, a hike in Glacier would have been out of question. I seriously would not have been able to do it. Today, a friend and I are looking at doing 10 different ones this summer. I'm actually thinking about buying shorts for summer. I haven't worn shorts since... maybe 10th grade. That was 16 years ago! I'm planning on doing another 5k, and I'm going to try to run (!) part of it . I've cut out soda. I've cut out a lot of mindless snacking. I've limited my lattes to one a week. I've cut down on processed foods.

Most importantly though, I give myself grace and forgiveness if I slip up. If I miss a work out, I try not to berate myself, and resolve to do it tomorrow.  I let myself have little treats.

Next week, I'll be on vacation, and you can bet your sweet bibby that I'm going to let myself have ice cream at least once. I will be buying a few pieces chocolate at the Lindt outlet. I may have fries with a meal, but I'm also bringing my walking shoes because my peeps and I are going to walk around some of Minnesota's famous lakes.

Guys, losing weight has been weird. It's been weird because it's turned my world on it's head, forced me out of some very comfortable, but unhealthy safety zones, changed me and quite possibly saved my life.

Manda

P.S. If I could give every single person who've encouraged me a high five and a hug, I would. You're all amazing.

Losing Weight Is Weird... Part 1

 Losing weight is weird. Now, don't get me wrong. It's awesome, but it's weird! My reactions and emotions to it are weird, and other peoples reactions can be strange too. First, we'll get me out of the way (Me, me, me. I sound like Marcia Brady).

I'm going through this crazy mixed bag of emotions right now. Before I started on this journey, I had always imagined that I would be in a constant state of delight and vigilance. There would be no room for anything else. Uuummm...no. It's like crazy town of emotions up in here.

There's sadness. Sadness that I let my health decline for so long.

There's excitement. Excitement that comes from stepping on my ol' frenemy, The Scale, and seeing that my hard work for the week paid off, even if it's just half a pound.

There's fear. Fear of giving up. Fear of gaining back a pound, and oddly enough a bit of fear of my different body.

There's newly discovered confidence. Confidence that yes, I can do this. I can go hiking. I can run for short distances. I can treat myself to a piece or two of chocolate.

There's happiness. Happiness that I can finally fit into that pair of pants that I've been hanging onto for-ever (the only downside is that I no longer like them, but still...).

There's anger. Anger at myself for not starting sooner.

There's astonishment. Astonishment that something as simple as eating better/a little bit less and moving more actually works. Those dang healthcare people actually know what they're talking about!

There's frustration. Frustration when all week I eat really well, workout really hard, and then step onto Monsieur Scale, see that I haven't dropped a single ounce, and in fact have GAINED A POUND.

On and on it goes, and it's just weird. Up and down. Up and down.

Happy/Scared/Motivated/Couch is My Best Friend/Soda is the Devil/Why, yes! I will have whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles on that latte!

Emotional roller coaster much? Yeesh. See what I mean? It's so strange...


Next up. Other people's reactions to someone they know losing weight. Stay tuned!

F-book Snark aka "How To Offend At Least One Person"

Hello there!
It's been a few weeks since I've posted. I wish I had some fantastic excuse as to why I haven't posted in a while...

So sorry I've been away, dear chums. Tom, yes, the Tom Hiddleston, invited me to his movie premier, and I just couldn't turn the darling boy down! 

Siiiggghh... Oh! Sorry. Got lost in a day dream there...

All right. I've been thinking. Today is a good day for a bit of snark, and my lucky target for the snark machine is... drum roll, please... Facebook!

Oh, Facebook. I have such a like/hate relationship with you. I like you because you give me the chance see pictures of faraway family and friends. You give me another way to connect with people, and you give me an opportunity for a bit of attention to my little blog.

Lately though, Facebook, you annoy me. Which is why for the month of January, I took a semi-sabbatical from you. I can honestly say that I didn't miss you all that much.

So why the Facebook annoyance? Why the snark towards Facebook? Honestly, it's not Facebook the website's fault. The problem is how people use it.

WARNING. From here on out, I'm pretty sure there's a good chance that I'm going to offend someone. I'm truly sorry, but not sorry enough to stop.

1. "2 Million Likes" posts or as I like to call them the "I Miss Being As Popular As I Was In High School" posts. These post may seem innocent, but they're not. You know the ones. The "If We Get 1 Million Likes Our Parents Will Get Us A Puppy." posts.  No. You should get a puppy because your parents think you're responsible enough to take care of a puppy, not if you get enough "likes". What's really going on is your mom and dad are dying for some attention and fame, and are using their darling children to get it. Which is immature and more than a little disturbing, in my opinion.

2. "Share if (fill in the blank)" posts. "Share if you have the best daughter/son/spouse/dog/wallaby/astronaut in the world" aka "I'm too lazy to type something original on their wall, or tell this person/animal/scientist in person so I'm going to slap up this post that 3 billion other people have already used." Phew. Now to backtrack a bit. I don't mind seeing these every once and a while. Telling the world how awesome your loved ones are is great. I love it. I think it's necessary, but what gets me is when these shared posts are the only time I see people expressing their love for their special ones. Look. Chances are you and this special person have a lot of the same friends, and if you write something as simple as "Hey! I love you and just wanted to tell you how bomb diggity bomb you are! Have fantastic day!" on their wall, most of your Facebook peeps are going to see it too. So there, now the world knows. Better yet, tell them in person, call them, or set up a Skype date. Trust me, this will be way more special to them. Don't let the ease of a sharing a post rob you of the joy of sharing your feelings in a more personal way.

3. Family/friends feuds on Facebook. Three words for this kind of activity. Tacky, unnecessary, and unbearably stupid (I guess that's four.). I have witnessed grown parents arguing with their grown children on this site. Really?! Really?! Grow. Up. If you have a problem with someone, don't you dare spread it on any kind of social media. There is no excuse for that type of behavior. I do not care what the issue is. I don't care if you're 15 or 85. You man/woman up and call or talk face to face to that person personally. If you're the someone that person is verbally vomiting about on Facebook, do not respond to it. Message them, ask them to work it out one on one, and tell them that you will not get into this issue with them on here. There is no need to drag the whole world into it. Also, there is no quicker way to get me to un-friend you than engaging in this kind of crap. Yeesh. Now I'm all sorts of fired up...


Okay, I better stop here. I'm sure I've trampled on more than a few toes, and should cease before I elephant stomp over more.

So, am I done with Facebook? Nooo...not yet. I am trying to spend less time on it. I spend way too much time online as it is, and right now, it's an easy activity to cut back on.

P.S. If I have truly offended you with this post, please let me know. I know that Facebook is very important to a lot of people, and my intent is not to hurt, shame, or make you feel guilty about what you do on your personal page. This was just silly me voicing some silly irritations.

Pursuing passion...

Passion. Not the kind found in bodice popping or tightly laced breeches. Nor in dog-eared romance novels secreted away during teenage years.

Passion. Not loud or vocal. Not evidenced by heated conversations or angry outbursts

Passion. Passion of a different sort. Not physical, but intangible. Excitement for the future. Fear for the future. Worry about the future. Dreams about the future.

Passion. Passion where the only ones who can truly understand are yourself and the Lord.

Passion. Passion where one moment you have giddy thoughts and a stomach housing a whole dorm of excited, girly butterflies. The next your sensible, rational brain is screaming "How in the world do you even think this can happen?! You have no experience in business! You didn't even finish college!"

Passion. Passion in the knowing that things can't and must not stay the same.

Passion full of loud thoughts and quiet dream sessions with close friends and family.

Passion for the future delights of brightening a bad day with a warm chocolate chip cookie. Lighting a grin with a gooey, fudgy brownie. Filling a hungry belly with a raspberry streusel muffin. A sigh of satisfaction at the first foamy sip of a latte. Warming cold, work roughened hands with a mug of Italian roast. Inhaling the scent of cardamom and cinnamon wafting from a cup of chai.

Passion for giving amateur artists the chance for eyes other than their own to see their heart. Listening to the brush of fingers against guitar strings. Over hearing deep conversations. Bursts of laughter from teenage girls having their first of many future coffee klatschs.

Passion for giving people a refuge from a harsh, demanding world for a brief spell.

Passion for a community made up of people from all walks of life and backgrounds.

Passion for waiting however long it takes for a long held vision to become reality.

It's Sassy's One Year Blog-iversary!

Blog-iversary? Blog-day? I don't know. Any who, it's been one year since I started this blog. One year of writing my rambling thoughts, sappy thank you's, pitching and complaining about singleness, and snarkiness in spades. A few people have actually taken the time to read my little blog which blows me away, but also makes me question their sanity... (you guys must be gluttons for punishment.).

In honor of this occasion, I'm going to do a little year in review with pictures. When you're in the middle of a year, it's hard to see all the things that have happened. When that year is over, and you step back and really look at what all happened, it can blow you away. 2013 was a year like I've never experienced. It was a year of tremendous change and growth for me. It was filled with sweet and heartbreaking moments. It was a year of new experiences and breaking shells I had built around myself. It was a year that 5 years down the road, I'll look back, and say "That's when it all changed."

January

My blog baby is born after obsessively reading lots of other blogs and thinking to myself "I wanna try blogging! I think I could that!"

February

My first and only recipe post to date...sorry, about that, guys...

Edamame and friends ;)

March

After telling her I wanted to walk a 5k, my friend Chelsey challenged me to The Coffee Bean Challenge to help me prepare for one in June. This little challenge ignited a fire in me to start getting healthier.

April

Ladies retreat!

Missoula weekend with Winnie, Nikki, and Amber (who played photographer for this pic). Squatchin'!

May

Taking in one of my favorite views at Lake MacDonald.

June

Winnie and I getting ready for our first 5k!

Completion! I owe it all Chelsey, her challenge, and the rest of my loved ones cheering me on.

July

Family vacay to Oregon!

August

Learning how to can from my Mom.

September

Going on my first real hike! Avalanche Lake, I will be back.

My nerdy little reward to myself for meeting my 20lb weight loss goal!

October

Color Me Pink 5k with some of my favorite ladies!

November

Teaching some lovely young ladies the art of baking...

And delivering some of our yummy baked goods to our neighbors...

December

Christmas Tree hunting with my fam. One of my favorite traditions!

It was an amazing, blessed year. I can't wait to see what this one holds. Thanks again for reading. You guys are the best! 

Manda

Blog birthday? Anni-blog-ary? Blog-ary Day........

The Perfect Gift

That first Christmas wasn't a festive, Christmas card perfect, Precious Moments time. A teenage girl gave birth to her first Child in a cave, not safe at home. It stunk. It was damp. There were farm animals wandering around. I'm sure Joseph had a elbow aside a sheep from it's feeding trough just so Mary could lay down her newborn.

 Mary wasn't dressed in a lovely pastel blue robe. She wore a stained tunic. Her hair wasn't perfectly combed. It was matted and sweaty. Not a single golden halo could be found. Her mother wasn't there to hold her hand, lay cool clothes on her forehead, and clean up the Baby afterward. Her mother probably wasn't even speaking to her. Her father wasn't there to tell her "You did good, sweetheart." Her father was probably ashamed of her.

Joseph wasn't standing off to the side, serenely looking on at the Baby, and leaning on his staff. He was probably shooing off chickens trying to roost on the trough and pushing cows away from his wife. All the while worry and questions spinning in his head. How would he keep them safe? Could they even return home? What if something happened to Mary or the Baby? Could he be a good father to this Heavenly Child?

The Baby wasn't wrapped in downy, white blankets. He was probably swaddled in some spare old rags that Joseph was able to beg from the Innkeeper. He was probably cold. Did He know even in that newborn state what awaited him? The lower class childhood? The burden of helping his earthly parents make ends meet? The ridicule and scorn that followed him during his ministry years? The awful death that only hardened criminals were sentenced to?

Not exactly the picture we're used to seeing every year. No gold foil edging or velvet details. But for all the ugliness, dirtiness, pain, confusion, and hurt, this is the picture that I want to see. Because that's real life. Life is not pretty. Life is not greeting card perfect. Life can be ugly. My life can be ugly. My heart is far from perfect.

Into all this nastiness, Christ came down, and became a fragile baby. From glory, He became a man. He did this for me, for you, for that annoying neighbor, for that criminal, for that politician, for the world. He became flesh so He could die for us, take our disgusting sin upon Himself, then conquer death by coming back to life all because He couldn't stand the thought of us not being with Him in Eternity.

This was Christ's gift to us. The gift of Life.

"Further up and further in..."

I'll be honest, guys. It's been a rough week.

I had a dear family friend who passed away unexpectedly Saturday morning. He left behind a beautiful wife and three awesome kids.

I have family members that have lost loved ones this week.

I have dear friends going through emotional upheaval.

My workplace was broken into Monday night.

The holiday season is supposed to be a festive, happy time, but it seems like for many this year it's going to be a season of pain and grief. Instead of celebrating, there will be mourning. Instead laughter, there will be tears. Instead of joy, there will be hurt. Instead of feeling safe at work, there's unease and tension.

It's hard to understand why these things happen. Why? Why was a husband and father taken away from his family so early? Why do we hurt each other? Why would someone steal from one of the most generous men in town?

I don't know.

I don't know.

The only solace I have is that I know the One who does know. That's the only hope I have and the only hope I cling to. The only Hope that I need.

I may never know this side of heaven, and if I never know until I reach my real Home, that's enough. I know that when I reach there all answers will be known, and we will be astounded by our Lord's glorious plan. We'll know without a shadow of a doubt that His hand was in it all.

"I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now...Come further up, come further in!" -C.S. Lewis