Christmas Is...

Music: O Holy Night by House of Heroes
            White Christmas by Bing Crosby
            Christmas Time Is Here by Vince Guaraldi Trio

Christmas is:

Baking marathons spent whipping up favorite family recipes, but slipping in a few new ones.

Watching Danny Kaye fly across the stage with Vera Ellen as Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney croon to each other over buttermilk and sandwiches.

The brothers and I mockingly singing Michael W. Smith's Emmanuel at the top of our lungs.

Christmas tree hunting.

Pulling out favorite ornaments, and reveling in feelings of nostalgia.

Following Buddy the Elf's four food groups.

Winter evenings that are so quiet you can hear the snow land on the trees.

Peppermint everything

Taking time to celebrate Advent.

Walking the streets of Bedford Falls with Jimmy Stewart.

Visiting Holiday Inn with Bing and Fred.

Yelling at the cat to get out of the tree.

Remembering the true meaning of Christmas with Charlie Brown.

Last minute Christmas shopping with my dad for my mom.

Christmas Eve church services.

Reconnecting with family at holiday parties.

Driving around ogling Christmas lights.

Drinking enough coffee on Christmas morning to sink an armada.

Dad's special waffles.

Even as adults, reading the Nativity story together Christmas morning.

Taking the time to remember why I celebrate Christmas.

Remembering that all the fun stuff is just the icing on the cake of what Christmas truly is.

Remembering that a tiny baby didn't just stay a baby, but grew up to be my Savior.

Merry Christmas, all.

A Plea For Holiday Sanity

It's the most wonderful time of the year, but...

It's bat crap crazy.

As I'm writing this, I had the heart attack inducing realization that we have less than a week before Christmas is here.

What the holly jolly heck?! How in the name of Rudolph did that happen?

Every evening is full, lists of Christmas goodies to be made are dancing in my head, and present shipping deadlines are looming.

Groceries need to be bought, cards need to be addressed, gifts need to found and wrapped, and the box stores are one huge mass of humanity and chaos.

Honestly, it's enough to turn anyone into a Grinch.

(If I have hear Santa, Baby or Baby It's Cold Outside one more time, I may turn green myself.)

The Kid-lets are screaming. 

Your tree won't stand straight. 

The house decor looks so far from the Pinterest perfect image you had in your mind, you can't decide whether to laugh or cry. 

That stupid Elf hasn't moved from his perch in a week, and you're praying that the kids don't notice.

Your spouse is hopeless when it comes to deciding what gifts to buy his parents.

Somebody just stole the last package of Oreos that you needed for your truffles right from under your nose.

The cashier is telling you that the coupon you want use on the Avengers playset that your son is dying for isn't valid (which it clearly is!).

It's enough to make anyone want to pitch a tinsel throwing fit!

And even worse the cashier just had the audacity to tell you Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas!! Really?! Doesn't he know that it's Merry Christmas and not Happy Holidays???!!!!

How dare he?! 

That's it!!

You've had it!! This is the last straw!!

You open your mouth to let out a verbal barrage flay that fake, plastered on smile off of the cashier's face.

STOP. Re-evaluate. Take a deep breath. Say a quick prayer for patience.

Whatever it takes to stop that poison from leaving your mouth.

Do you really want to be one of those customers? You know the kind I'm talking about. Don't deny it.

Don't be the Holiday Customer that makes anyone in retail/customer service dread coming into work from November 1 - January 6.

The holidays are stressful time for everyone. Every. One.

Please don't ruin the day of that poor girl at Starbucks counter by snarking at them because their cups are just plain red, and don't have snowflakes on them.

I didn't realize that Starbucks is the be all end all when it comes to Christmas. 

Personally, I could care less. The only problem I have with Starbucks is that I think their coffee tastes burnt, and is highly overrated. (Sorry, Starbucks. It's how I feel).

If you truly have a problem, write a polite, respectful letter to Starbucks HQ. Don't take it out on an innocent barista. Don't bring it up. Just order your coffee, and move along.

Please don't lecture the poor kid checking you out at Target about how you're going to tell him "Merry Christmas even if it is politically incorrect!"

1. Do you realize how many times he's heard that today?

2. He has to say Happy Holidays because that's what corporate tells him to say, and there is nothing he can do to change it.

3. Please don't take to Facebook to tell the world how "Corporate America can't stop YOU from saying Merry Christmas because I just told the cashier at Target!! So stick that up your corncob pipe!" Really? That's just tacky.

4. Just smile, say thank you, say your Season's Greetings, and leave. It's quite simple.

Honestly, I couldn't give a flying fig if someone told me Happy Hanukkah, or Happy Kwanzaa. I'll wish them the same and tell them Merry Christmas to boot.

Look. I get it.

Having to feel like you're tiptoeing on "politically correct eggshells" all the time is exhausting!

But let's not forget that we're all forging through this holiday season together.

I'm stressed. You're stressed. We're all stressed.

Guys, let's just resolve to act like human beings around each other this time of year and all the other time of the year. It's as simple as thinking about the other person more than yourself.

Don't forget that this is the time of year that those of us who call ourselves Christians are celebrating the birth of a baby who was, is, and always will be The Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6) not the Prince of Strife, Stress, and Contention.

My fellow Christians, how about we show it?

A little kindness goes so much farther than the two seconds it took to give someone a genuine smile (personally, I need this reminder every day, sometimes, every hour).

And best of all, I believe it blesses my Heavenly Father's heart when He sees His kids treating each other decently.

Together we can do it.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all!

#single

#single


The other day, I received a notification on a certain social media site that I had a new "like" on a picture.

I didn't recognize the user name so being the nosy person I am, I clicked open their profile.

Three realizations flashed through my brain the minute I opened that profile.

1. I immediately realized I knew who's profile this was.

2. #single was the only word in their user profile description.

3. I knew for a fact that this person was only 12 years old.

12. Years. Old.

I'll be honest. My first thought was super snarky one. "You're 12, and you're complaining about being single??!! Ha! Try being 33!!"

Then it sunk in what I had just read, and my second thought was "You're 12, and you're complaining about being single. Oh sweetheart, no."

The idea that the only word that they thought was worth using to describe their self was the fact that they weren't in a relationship with someone else almost broke my heart.

Did they truly place so little worth on who they were?

Who they were created to be?

They're 12 years old! Why are they so worried about being single? Shouldn't their biggest concerns be homework, and why their siblings are so annoying?

Did their parents know?

If so, how in the name of Firefly did they let them put that on their profile?

Look, before I start getting parents barking at me:

"Who do you think you are?! You're not a parent! You have know idea what it's like! How hard it is! I don't have time to police every little thing in my kid's life! Don't you dare tell me how to parent!" 

You're absolutely right.

I have no clue how hard it is to be a parent. I especially can't even fathom what it would be like to raise kids in this current culture.

I know the media bombards kids with celebrity couples WHO WEREN'T COMPLETE UNTIL THEY FOUND THEIR SPECIAL UNICORN.

I know it seems like every single tv show, movie, and/or pop song is all about finding true love, and it's a struggle just to find something appropriate for kids to watch or listen to.

You parents have all my respect and admiration.

But...but... I may not be a parent, but I know a lot of parents.

And I'm a huge people watcher.

Combine those two and I've done a lot of observing of families and family dynamics.

Why do I hear parents and grandparents pestering their kids about some girl or boy that they saw them talking to?

"Is he/she your boy/girlfriend? Huh, huh?? You must like them if you were playing with them!"

So they can't possibly just be playing together? It's not possible for kids to just simply be friends?

Why do I hear mothers telling their sixth grade daughters:

"I can't wait for you to get a boyfriend!! You'll be so cute with a boyfriend! You'll love being a girlfriend! I just bet you'll be the first girl in your class to have a boyfriend! You'll be so popular all the boys will be after you! You know, your dad and I were high school sweethearts. I hope that happens to you too!" 

It may seem so innocent, just a little teasing, but really it's not. Kids take so much more to heart than we realize.

Despite outward appearances, kids/teenagers do listen to us, and when all we're telling them (even if it's in jest) is being in a relationship is what make you cool, what makes you popular, then they think that's what's expected of them too.

Quick sidebar...

Before the relationship police start squawking:

"Who are you to say when someone is allowed to be physically attracted to someone else??!!"

I'm not saying that it's not okay for someone to be attracted to someone else at age 12. I realized that magical age of "attraction" hits at all different ages.

Example: At twelve, my two closest friends were completely boy crazy, and had been for a good two years! I, however, was still more than a year away from transitioning from "Boys are weird, alien creatures. Ew." to "Why can't I stop thinking about these weird, alien creatures all the time?!"

Okay back to business.

Fun fact for you:

According to a Huffington Post article "Only 2% of high school relationships end up in marriage."

2%

2 freakin' %!!!

To belabor the point even farther that means out of 100 high school couples only 2 of those couples will actually make it to the altar.

So why are we telling kids, and letting the media tell kids that their be all and end of their worth as humans is to be in a relationship as soon as possible??

Why are we putting and allowing this weird "relationship" pressure on these kids when we should be encouraging to grow into their personalities??

Helping them discover their interests and working on finding out who they were created to be (not that that process ever stops).

Snort...hmmpphh.

Guys, I know I probably sound like a shrill old spinster at this point, but it just makes me so mad to see kids...and even adults in this head space.

Kids can be and are so much more than a boyfriend or girlfriend.

They are musicians, budding scientists, historians, literature buffs, athletes, comedians, humanitarians, artists, chefs, brothers, sisters, daughters, sons, nieces, nephews, grand kids, and friends.

So in the end it's up to us (and yes, I'm including myself and anyone else who has a tween or teen in their life)to tell them that they are worth more than a relationship status.

Along with this we can have frank, honest conversations on what it means to have a good relationship. Discussing it means to be good partner, and what to look for in a partner.

When that day comes that they're ready to start finding that Person, tell them that because they are such amazing, unique, talented creatures they deserve the best possible person. Someone who loves them like crazy, and to never settle just because they feel the pressure to be in a relationship.

And that because they are so awesome, they're worth waiting for whether they find their Person when they're 16 or 50.

And if there are any 12 year olds reading this, take it from an old, shrill, spinster.

Darling, you are worth waiting for.

Things I Just Don't Understand Part 2

Music: Mercy by Muse
            Peer Gynt Suite by Edvard Grieg
            Tompkin's Square Park by Mumford & Sons




1. Baby Shower Games

I just don't get them. (Hey, I know for a fact that I'm not the only one who doesn't like them. I'm just writing what all y'all are thinking.)

For example, why does trying to guess the size of the expectant mothers belly sound like fun?

 The poor woman is probably already feeling bloated, swollen and roughly the size of a small English cottage. Why, oh why, would we want to make her feel even more self conscience by trying to guess the width of her belly?

See also: Guess The Type of Candy Melted In Diaper, Pinch The Penny Between The Knees And Pee It Into A Jar, Don't Say Baby, etc...

2. Uggs

They're ugg-ly (hah! puns ahoy!), should never be paired with a mini skirt, and also reportedly horrible for your feet.

Pretty sure dwarven boots would be a better fashion choice.

See also: Crocs

3. Drama on any reality show that's centered around a "real life" profession

Look, we all have "stuff" that happens at work. It's part of working with other human beings. I'm not perfect. You're not perfect. We're bound to annoy each other.

But there is no way on earth that you can convince me that 99.9% of the drama that happens on these shows is not scripted. If even a tenth of that stuff happened at a legit workplace, people would be getting fired er'ywhere!

Yet, people eat it up! They pay to watch it! For some reason watching a grown adult act like a 2 year old throwing a temper tantrum because Mommy won't let them have a cookie for breakfast is absolutely fascinating!

Really?!

I personally know at least 10 parents who would let you babysit their toddler and witness just as riveting drama played out in real life. And it would be free.

"Next time on Dry-cleaners of Sioux Falls, will Alva and Velma come to blows over who forgot to clean the spot on the mayor's cumberbund? Tune in next week to see all the drama!"

See also: Do we really need another show about a gunshop, pawnshop, minnow fishing boat, logging company, gold panning operation, bunch of mountain hermits, or high end cupcakery?

4. Dogs in strollers

No.

5. People Who Think Classical Music Is Boring

Whaaaaaa??!! No seriously, how can you even think that?! How???!!! What the what?! 

How can you listen to Vivaldi's Autumn, and not hear leaves rustling across a grassy lane?

How can you listen to the Waltz of the Snowflakes by Tchaikovsky and not see snowflakes dancing across a street?

How can you listen to Handel's Messiah and not be moved to tears?

How can you listen to Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata and not have your heart ache just a little?

How can you listen to Carl Orff's O Fortuna and not by ready to take on a zombie horde?

Also, have you seen Apocalypse Now, V for Vendetta, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, Moulin Rouge, Pirates of the Caribbean, Mission Impossible, Twilight, Fantasia, Toy Story 2, The King's Speech, The Fifth Element, multiple episodes of The Looney Tunes, or heck even the trailer for Mad Max Fury Road?

Yes? 

Well then, partner, you've listened to and probably even enjoyed classical music.

So, yeah, there. You actually DO like classical music.



So there you go just a few more things I don't get...

And always a big thank you to everyone who takes time out of their busy schedules to read this snarky little blog.

P.S. Oh, you don't know O Fortuna?? Here, let me help you with that. It's absolutely amazing!! (And after you listen to five seconds of it, I bet you do recognize it.)

On Nerdiness...

Music: Sleeping In by The Postal Service
            Fire By Night by Josh Garrels
            People C'mon by Delta Spirit


I am a nerd/geek.

I know. I know. Shocker.

It's not like I hide it.

I wear Doctor Who t-shirts to church, much to the puzzlement of some of my church family.

Iron Giant + Doctor Who = Geekdom Win

I have multiple Pinterest boards devoted to my favorite fandoms, nerdy art, and geek apparel.

I've designed and stitched cross stitch samplers portraying some of my favorite characters.

I usually include at least two movie/tv/book quotes in any real conversation (most of the time people don't get them).

I use Tumblr (the confluence of most things nerdy) on a daily basis.

Ryan Gosling vs. Nathan Fillion? Pssshhhttt, my Captain any and e'ry time.

Ariana Grande vs. Gina Torres? Girl, please. Zoe Washburne FTW.

This is Zoe. We love Zoe.

Heck, even the description of myself on this blog is pretty dang nerdy.

I could go on and on with the proof of my nerdiness, but I'll spare you.

Being a nerd is something I've been my entire life, but it's only within the last three years or so that I've really started living nerd life.

What changed?

Two reasons.

1.There's so much awesome stuff out there to geek out over.

2. I got exhausted.

We nerds try, for the most part, to keep of fangirl/boying at a low simmer.

I try my hardest not to do this in public, but it does slip out at times...

Why?

You really have to ask that question?

It's because we feel the need to protect ourselves.

Being a nerd is very slowly becoming more "acceptable" among society (geeky events like the San Diego Comic Con have become huge pop culture touchstones), but it seems to be something that the majority of people still look at it with confusion or even derision.

How many times have you heard someone (or maybe you yourself) call someone else "Nerd! Geek! Weirdo! Freak!" just because they're super passionate about reading, math, a tv series, science, comic books, history, gaming (both video and tabletop), and/or a movie?

How many times have we geeks been told "You'll never find that special someone because you're such a huge nerd."?

How many times have we nerds been sneered at because maybe we like putting a Victorian spin on everything (that's called Steampunk, folks), dress a little different, can recite the Periodic Table, maybe wear a little too much black, dye our hair in rainbow shades, or listen to obscure music?

How many times have I seen a kid's face drop because their older sibling or in some awful cases, their parents laugh and call them a nerd because they had to get glasses?

How many times?

Too many.

And frankly, I got frickin' tired of it. Tired of hiding.

"Well, then, why identify as one?" you may ask. "If you're tired of it, don't do it anymore."

Really? REALLY?! Why should I have to hide or stop doing something I love?

What's the difference between someone who cosplays as their favorite Avenger for a convention, and someone who crams a wedge of dairy by-product on their head to watch "The Big Game"?

I don't get how you can sit and watch grown men in super tight, shiny capris (seriously those things are tighter than anything Mr. Darcy ever wore) tackle, pummel,and inflict blunt force trauma on each other, but the thought of opening a book makes you whine and pitch a fit like two year old.

Why is idolizing some athlete who cheats on his wife or a reality tv star (cough, Kardashians, cough, cough) more accepted than fangirling over a couple of gentlemanly Brits who happen to play your favorite detective and super villian respectively?

Tom, you'll always be my first choice...

Why are so many parents rabidly obsessed with their kids' athletic ability, but the thought of their kid giving that up to pursue speech and debate, artistic or musical talents makes them angry?

Why is physical ability valued over mental capacity?

Popularity over kindness and a love for graphic novels?

Look, I get it. We nerds a little bit of a different bunch. We're the outcasts, the "uncool", the "a little" socially awkard, the intorverts, the artists, the present and former speech and band geeks, the goths, the non-jocks, and the smart kids.

But let me tell you a little something about those kind of people, those kind of kids. Something that's very personal to me.

Way back in 1999, I was entering my senior year of high school. It also happened to be my first and only year of public school. Previously, I had attended a tiny (no seriously, there was only 60 kids) K-8th private school through junior high, and then I was home schooled for my freshman - junior years.

As you can imagine, I was petrified.

I was so nervous the first two weeks that there wasn't day I didn't feel like I was going to throw up as I was getting ready for the day.

The only people I knew were my freshman brother, his few friends, a handful of kids from my old school, and a few popular, athletic kids, who happened to go to church with me.

I was scared out of my mind.

I didn't fit in.

I didn't belong...anywhere.

But you know who opened up their circles to me?

(Well, besides my little bother, who acted like a protective older brother to me that whole year. Thanks for watching out for and hanging with your socially awkward sister, bro-ski!)

That's right. It was the band kids, the social misfits, the rave kids, the smart kids...the nerds. They made me feel a little less alone, and a little more accepted.

They helped me survive that year.

They accepted me when no one else would.

And those popular kids I had known for years at church? Well, they barely said 10 words to me all school year.

I'll let you take from that what you will.

It's because of those kids when someone call me a geek or a geek, I take it as a compliment, and sincerely thank them.

It's because of those kids that whenever someone sheepishly says to me, "I'm such a huge nerd!", I reply enthusiastically "ME TOO!!"

And you know what? 9 3/4's of the time, their face lights up, they get a glimpse of my TARDIS earrings and Serenity emblazed t-shirt, and cry out "Carry on, my wayward son! Nine, Ten, or Eleven??"

It's because of those kids, I'm proud to call myself a nerd.

And it's because of those kids that 12 years after graduating, I finally stepped out of the shadows, and into the light of geekdom.

How are we so different from the sports maniacs, the weekend athletes, the hunters (no, not Sam and Dean Winchester. Sorry, Supenatural mention.) and outdoors-y people?

We're not.

We're all passionate about something. Which is good! Life would be so boring if we were all the same.

And maybe one day soon, we'll see a Trekkie mountain biking club.

A football player with a Tardis emblazoned on his helmet.

A model walking the runway with a Marauder's Map festooned ball gown.

A Browncoat hiker (Oh, wait! That's me! Go progress!)

Thanks for always being there for me, my nerds. Always stay your Sherlocked, fantastic, pie obsessed, bow ties are cool, wand waving, anime drawing, up all night to get Loki, Buffy loving, Impala driving, Middle Earth dwelling selves.

An Open Letter to My Sisters Everywhere

"Courage, dear heart." -Aslan, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

"I know my value." -Agent Peggy Carter

Dearest Sister,

I know the world bombards you with messages.

It tells you how it thinks you should think.
It tells you how it thinks you should act.
It tell you how it thinks you should dress.
It tells you how it thinks you should have fun.
It tell you how it thinks you should be a daughter, a sister, a friend, and a girlfriend.

But I'm telling you that you don't have to do what the world says.

Those two quotes above are short and sweet, but what power each of them holds.

Power to remind you who you are, and what a cherished creature you are.

Take courage, and be kind.

Know your value, and know that you were created to be unique.

Take courage, and stand up when all others are sitting down.

Know your value, and know that you are worth so much more than someone telling you "If you love me, you'll let me...", or "If you love me, you'll do this..."

Take courage, and befriend the person other people shun.

Know your value, and know that true beauty goes so far beyond your jean size or facial features.

Take courage, and know that it is far better to be alone than with someone is with you only because of what you can give them.

Know your value, and know that you are someone worth waiting for.

Take courage, and be silly.

Know your value, and know that your scars are part of what make you a masterpiece.

Take courage, and be a ground breaker when everyone else is content to go with the flow.

Know your value, and know that your relationship status does not define you.

Take courage, and love the downtrodden.

Know your value, and know that the Maker of the Universe calls you His daughter, and loves you extravagantly.

Take courage, dear heart and know your value.

The Pachyderm Meal Plan

Music: Message Man by Twenty One Pilots
            Drawing Board Remix by B. Reith
            Gonna Take Some Time by Bleach

"How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."

It's a silly riddle. One meant to bring a smile to the face of a six year old.

Silly...but...deep at the same time.

Recently, I've been thinking about life changes, and how we're all constantly pursuing life changes.

Most of the time those life changes seem daunting, though. Too big, too hard, too uncomfortable, or just too scary.

Maybe you want to quit smoking, but those cigarettes seem to be the only thing that relieves your stress.

Maybe you want to stop drinking, but you're afraid that you might lose those friends that you party with, and they seem like the only friends you have.

Maybe you want to start exercising, but it hurts your joints.

Maybe you need to leave that toxic relationship, but you're scared of being alone.

It all seems too much to even contemplate beginning. It's too much to handle, and even if you start there always seems that snide little voice coaxing you to stop.

It's not really that bad. 
You can start later. 
Maybe try next week, next month, next year when life calms down.
You really don't want to be alone. 
What kind of loser would you be if you don't have any friends?

But really, will it calm down?  Do you really want friends who only care about having a "good time", but as soon as something hard comes up they run away? Will there ever be a perfect time to turn your life around?

I can say will all the confidence in the world, no. 

We were never guaranteed a perfect life down here on earth so why would there ever be a perfect time to start something new?

We just have to do it.

How?

Well, for starters, tell that sneering voice to shut it, and then consider The Pachyderm Meal Plan.

You do it one day, one hour, one minute, one second, one bite at a time.

I know that it's hard. Trust me, I truly do know, but, oh how it'll be worth it in the end.

Don't give up, dear one.

I'm rooting for you, and even better than that, the Maker of the Universe is cheering you on as well.

Gonna Be Alright

by Bleach

You know that you're part of this tonight

And it meant so much to see how hard you tried

And I want you to know it's alright

I want you to know it'll be fine

But it's gonna take some time

To get it back in line

It's gonna take some time

To work it all out

To work it all out

To work it all out

To work it out

This operation's gone away

But I know that there is hope for even this

A crippled bird can learn to fly again

And I want you to know it's alright

I'm running to show it'll be fine

But it's gonna take some time

To get it back in line

It's gonna take some time

To work it all out

To work it all out